the days leading up to my dad passing, the roof of the house was covered with crows. at least i assume they were crows, not ravens, around here. there are still a few hanging about, tapping on the tiles each morning.
in the days since, i’ve seen so many hummingbirds. one even flew up to the window when i was at home in whittier.
i was getting water for one of the kid’s dog beasts outside, and i felt two taps on the hip. no one there. i’ve decided it had to have been a hummingbird. maybe i had a red jacket on, i don’t really remember, so i’m going with that.
mom slowly going through his stuff, giving away clothes, destroying meds, packing his books. i’ve grabbed a couple pairs of his socks—my feet are cold. still strange how i move about the day, doing normal things, then if i stop for too long, i realize he’s not there anymore, and this is just so much junk.
i am eating way to much guacamole. wish this fog in my head would lift. going back to work tomorrow, expecting condolences and fresh tears.
fleetline from a show at manny locos last summer. shooting towards the sun again...maybe it was just the best angle. probably there was a car with an open hood or some other thing that ruined the pic when i considered the other side.