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welcome to the jungle

1953 chevy bel air

this started off as a completely different write up, but then i read it, and it just sounded lame. well, the usual amount of lameness. so i dumped it.

so i thought, instead of a usual rundown of a car show, i'll pretend i'm marlin perkins, and this is the mutual of omaha's wild kingdom. starring as the poor sidekick that always did the actual animal wrangling, my better half.

sunday. just after sun up, we headed out into the wild lands of industry hills. shhh, be verwy verwy quiet. we're hunting wabbits. no, we're looking for some larger beasts.

told my sidekick, it will be hot, so we will probably leave pretty early. brought my safari hat, so i might be better prepared to hide from the golden orb in the sky. its etched with magical ancient runes, to ward off evil beasts with gaping mouths. i raise my fists in defiance, yelling, or more, thinking, in my head, "bite me, go get your two scoops and leave me alone!"

one of the game wardens at the gate, sent us up a hill, to a distant hunting ground. we unpacked our gear, and heard the roars of the giants in the distance. we walked past some kind of shelters for ye olde fashioned horsepower, and a building that may or may not be used to race some two wheeled variety of animal around in circles.

as we rounded the building, and got our first glimpse of the valley below, i may or may not have heard my better half whisper to himself, "i'm fucked." he really did have other things he needed to do that day, but seeing the bounty spread out below, he knew we might be there a wee bit longer than i said.

side note: at the gate, my better half inquired how much the entry fee was. the woman directing traffic behind us overheard, but slightly wrong. she said, "one-hundred and twenty-five! each!" i forget what incredulous remark he may have said, but he was ready to leave. i shook my head no, and the girl in front of us, holding the cash box kinda shrugged awkwardly. another woman came out from behind a curtain, saying "no, no, no! twelve dollars, each."

better half figured out later, that the big number was what they charged vendors, that the girl didn't know what was what at that point in the day...we were a bit early, before official open time...and the other lady was spot on with the spectator fee.

we thought it was funny. anyway, we got our black bracelets, and felt like tagged animals...easing back into character here...

we decided to split up, better to encircle the unsuspecting prey. it became apparent, that it was the other way around—we were surrounded. beast were lounging everywhere, in the shade, in the sun, many being rubbed, err soothed by smaller species.

the small animals seemed keen on attracting attention. they are known to sometimes collect shiny objects, to attract the females' attention. the females may pretend not to notice, but they do. they do.

we began shooting, almost immediately, but the beasts have surprisingly thick, tough skins, and it was if they did not even notice or feel our presence. they stay where we shot them. there were so many, we had to move quickly.

occasionally, one would rumble past, causing us to jump out of the way, but really more of a threat posture than an actual threat.

the sun was going higher in the sky, some of the beasts had strong odors, hot metallic smells, animals dying a slow death. they needed a cool drink, or else other larger beasts would come and drag them away.

the herds were clumped in packs, with sometimes a lone animal nearby.

i spied this brightly colored animal, with it's pack, on the far side of the field. it reclined under this feeble tree, in a futile attempt to stay cool. it just sat there, and i shot it. i shot it several times. and i would do it again...

join us again, next time. for another edition of the mutual of omaha's wild kingdom.

ok. that was kinda stupid, but i dont feel like starting over. thank you for your patience.